Hello Runners!
I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get this post out. A lot has been going on in my life, and I’m working on finding a balance for rest and finding some peace in the chaos of running, school, work, and general life stuff. Writing this is included in that rest and peace. I love being able to write on this platform and am continuously grateful for those who read it and are so supportive!
A lot has happened since I last wrote, two whole cross country meets!!!
I will not dwell on the specifics of these meets here, because I do not believe it will be productive for me personally. While I wish to be open, I have done my fair share of reflection and am in the process of moving on and placing less emphasis on these. When things don’t go well, it makes me feel like I’m failing. Honestly, I know I place too much of my value as a person in my running, which is something I am actively working on changing this perspective, but it will definitely be something I take more time to write about at some point.
The first rust buster at Wyoming was very much just a “came and went” situation.
Wasn’t the best but wasn’t the worst. My legs were definitely fatigued from big summer miles, in which case I am not concerned and know that when it counts my body will be ready. The second meet, Roy Griak, was a bigger letdown. I am proud of how I put myself in it for the first mile, but after about 2k I dropped and the second half of my race was pretty weak. There are two reasons I have narrowed it down to that could’ve caused this. Either I just feel stronger and more in control when I race conservatively (which didn’t quite happen), or my training needs some time to soak in and I need to take down miles (and general life stressors) before I can really reap the benefits of my training.
No one really tells you how to deal with disappointment.
There is the general 24-hour moping window, then you “move on.” While I fully agree that 24 hours is enough time to sit around and feel sorry for myself, I was left with some residual doubt that made it difficult to completely get over it. During tough workouts or moments in training, there is always a devil on your shoulder- the voice that says that you aren’t fast enough. You aren’t strong enough. You aren’t capable of what you thought you were. Instead of the whisper I typically hear, this voice has been coming as a scream. This is not who I am, I know I am more resilient than feeling down about a few races.
I also know that it’s okay to acknowledge my struggle coping with disappointment.
I am a big fan of Steve Magness and his book Do Hard Things. I would love to talk more about his book and what I have taken away from it at some point. I listened to a podcast he was a guest speaker on and something he said really resonated with me. The podcast is called “Distance Daddies” by Kyle Kastrup, who I recently met through a friend (it's a small running world). Anyway, Steve analyzes dealing with negative thoughts in a way I found helpful. He was talking to a group of elite marathoners one day, and asked if any of them ever think about quitting during a race, and every one of them said yes, which demonstrates that everyone has these thoughts. One of the strategies Steve shares to combat negative thoughts during a race or workout is to change the way you talk to yourself. Instead of speaking in the first person saying “I got this,” I would instead say in the third person “come on Anna,” or “get your shit together Anna.” When you change this verbiage, you can almost trick your mind into interpreting these signals differently, more effectively easing doubts. It’s similar to having a teammate encourage you as they pass in a race.
I have not called on this tactic yet, but I had an experience a week ago during a
difficult workout when I was starting to struggle in the last repeat and my teammate and best friend, Quinn, could tell from behind. While she herself was tired, she used her energy to shout at me “GO ANNA KEEP GOING!” This really meant a lot to me. It was just the push I needed to hear “go” from a teammate to make it feel like there was someone in my corner. I am very grateful to have a team I can count on to help me be strong.
Another tactic Steve talked about was the ability to dramatically shift your attention when necessary during a hard effort. The best elite runners are able to do this, while others get stuck in a negative spiral focusing on one thing. For example, if you are in pain during a race and are thinking about your breath, instead focus on the next corner you’re going around or the competitor in front of you. I found this to be helpful this week during a track workout that was very challenging- or “juicy-” as my coach calls it. There were many parts to this workout and the reps were intense. When I started to notice negative thoughts like “this just isn’t my day,” I would notice that this felt tough, and then turn my mind to something else that didn’t require me to think about a physical sensation. Instead, I would watch my coach lead us, or think only about the next turn or straightaway. Taking things one lap at a time. Whether it’s one lap, one mile --one day, one challenge-- this is a great tool to use in running and life.
I believe that the most successful athletes are the ones to not hold on to results too tightly- win or lose.
I also know that I still have a lot of learning and growing to do as an athlete and as a person. I had to treat this leftover negativity from poor results as I would tight calves after wearing spikes. A little niggle that I needed to work on- not some “woo woo” problem that becomes a big mysterious source of anxiety. I got back to doing the hard work, and while my mind wasn’t at ease right away, I know who I am and what I’m capable of.
That’s all for now, next up is the Nuttycombe invite in my old stomping grounds; Madison, WI. I will keep you posted!
This recipe is super yummy, especially this time of year! My go-to breakfast is PB toast with a banana, but this oatmeal is much yummier if I have a few extra minutes before my morning starts. Soften your apples in some butter and honey and then add to stovetop oats and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a great day ahead.
Happy running,
Anna
Comments